Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in relationships. It makes someone question their own reality and memories.
- Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic to gain control
- The abuser denies what they said or did, even with proof
- They make the victim doubt their perception and sanity
- Gaslighting can make victims feel “crazy” or confused
Do you think your partner might be gaslighting you? Read on to better understand this harmful behavior.
Partners Who Deny Reality
One obvious gaslighting move is denying something they said or did – even with clear evidence proving otherwise. For example:
- You agree to meet at 6 pm, but they show up late and claim, “I never said 6 o’clock.”
- They insult you, but when confronted, respond, “I never said that you’re crazy.”
- You have a recording proving they made a promise, but they still deny it happened
This blatant denial makes victims doubt their memory and reality.
Twisting Things Around
Another common gaslighting tactic is twisting situations around to blame the victim.
- If you get upset about something hurtful they did, they respond, “Why are you so dramatic? It was just a joke.”
- They make you feel bad and “wrong” for having normal emotional responses.
- In a healthy relationship, partners take responsibility instead of shifting blame.
The gaslighter flips things around to make the victim feel unreasonable or “crazy” for being upset.
Questioning Your Reality
Gaslighters question your perception of events to make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
- You argue, but the next day, they claim “I never said that,” about comments they made
- They accuse you of making up promises or commitments you never actually voiced
- They insist they were truthful, calling you “crazy” for remembering things differently
This undermines the victim’s grasp of reality. It causes them to doubt their sanity and memories.
Using “Opinion Army” Pressure
Gaslighters may try to rally others’ opinions to contradict and outnumber the victim.
- They dismiss your concerns by saying, “everyone else thinks I’m great” or “Everyone agrees with me.”
- This isolates you from others and reinforces the idea that your perspective is wrong or unreasonable
- Being ganged up on makes you more likely to mistrust your instincts and judgment
How to Respond to Gaslighting
If you suspect gaslighting in your relationship, here are some tips that can help:
- Trust your instincts and gut feelings
- Keep a journal documenting events to reinforce your memories
- Maintain firm boundaries – you have a right to your feelings
- Seek an outside perspective from friends or a therapist
- Consider leaving the relationship if the gaslighting persists
Gaslighting can make victims feel “crazy,” but the real issue is the abusive, manipulative behavior damaging the relationship.
Conclusion
Gaslighting involves persistent denials of reality, blame-shifting, and making victims second-guess their memories and sanity. It is an unhealthy way for a partner to gain power and control. If you recognize these patterns, don’t ignore the red flags. Have you experienced gaslighting before? How did you overcome it?ย
Photo Credit: Freepik
