There are some behaviors in relationships that should raise a red flag and not be ignored. This article covers 7 major relationship red flags that can signal long-term issues.
Key Points
- Having a partner who gets overly defensive
- Your partner acts like the rules don’t apply to them
- Your partner tells “white lies” or bends the truth
- Your partner is excessively critical or puts you down
- Your partner is a “bad sport” about doing things you want
- Your partner doesn’t take responsibility for mistakes
- Your partner has a “my way or the highway” attitude
Have you ever noticed some concerning behaviors from your boyfriend or girlfriend? Even minor issues can be big red flags that the relationship may be unhealthy. But how can you tell which behaviors are no big deal versus signs of real trouble? Read on to learn about major red flags that mean you should be very cautious.
Red Flag #1: Excessive Defensiveness
They Never Take Responsibility
One of the top red flags is if your partner is overly defensive and never takes responsibility for mistakes or problems. They always have an excuse, blaming circumstances, other people, you — anyone but themselves. This shows an inability to have healthy discussions about issues that come up.
A Pattern of Attacking
Defensiveness often comes along with counter-attacking you when you try bringing something up. They flip it around and criticize you for something else. This attacking pattern is a huge problem and a major red flag.
Red Flag #2: Rules Don’t Apply to Them
Acting Above the Rules
Another red flag is if your partner acts like society’s standard rules don’t fully apply to them. They may constantly “bend” convenient rules, cut lines, or find sneaky ways to gain advantages over others.
Breaks Agreements Too
The biggest issue is that this rule-breaking attitude doesn’t just apply to small things. If your partner doesn’t follow standard rules, chances are they won’t follow necessary regulations and agreements in your relationship when it suits them.
Red Flag #3: The “White Liar”
Constant Small Lies
If your partner seems to constantly tell small “white lies” and bend the truth about unimportant things, that is a huge red flag about their character. The lies may seem harmless at first, but a pattern of lying is a big problem.
Can’t Be Trusted
Someone who lies about small things for no good reason cannot be fully trusted. If they lie about meaningless details, they’ll likely lie about bigger things, too, when it benefits them. Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy and strong relationship. Developing a strong foundation for a relationship requires the establishment of trust. It is imperative to have a solid foundation of trust when building a relationship. Building a relationship requires a strong foundation of trust. Building trust is crucial for a relationship to succeed. A relationship that is established with a foundation of trust is more likely to flourish.
Red Flag #4: Overly Critical
“Negging” Behavior
Watch out if your partner constantly criticizes you, makes subtle put-downs, or gives backhanded compliments mixed with insults. This may be intentional “negging” behavior to undermine your self-esteem.
How You Feel Matters
You should feel uplifted and positive after spending time with your partner. If you leave dates feeling worse about yourself because of their overly critical attitude, that’s a glaring red flag.
Red Flag #5: Bad Sport
Only Interested in Their Way
A partner who is enthusiastic about doing things they want to do, but is constantly dismissive, rude or disinterested when you want to do an activity, is exhibiting a “bad sport” red flag.
My Way or the Highway
This type of behavior shows a self-centered “my way or the highway” mentality from your partner. A good partner will care about your interests and wants, not just getting their way.
Red Flag #6: Chronic Blamers
Never Their Fault
Like the defensiveness red flag, someone who can never admit fault or take accountability for anything is a major red flag. They always find a way to blame others.
Playing the Victim
These kinds of partners play the victim whenever something goes wrong, rather than taking responsibility for their role. This makes having a mature, healthy relationship very difficult.
Red Flag #7: Stubborn & Controlling
Unwilling to Compromise
The final big red flag is a partner with a rigid “my way or the highway” approach to disagreements and doesn’t want to compromise. They have to be right about everything.
Signs of Controlling Behavior
This stubborn, unbending attitude often stems from a desire to control situations and people. It creates an unhealthy relationship dynamic in which one partner always has to be in charge.
Conclusion
While no relationship is perfect, partners who consistently display several of these concerning behaviors are exhibiting major red flags. If you notice multiple red flags, it may be wise to re-evaluate the relationship’s long-term potential before things go further. Isn’t having a caring, respectful partner who you can trust what a healthy relationship is all about?
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