Feeling nervous about seeming too eager when dating? Don’t worry – it’s a common concern. Many women accidentally do things that can look desperate, even when they’re not. Let’s look at these easy-to-make mistakes and figure out how to steer clear of them.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- The impact of complaining about a lack of good men
- Why over-communicating can be a turn-off
- The problem with bending over backwards for a date
- How excessive gift-giving can backfire
- Three more behaviours to watch out for
Ready to boost your dating confidence? Let’s dive in!
1. Complaining About a Lack of Good Men
Have you ever told a date, ”Thank goodness you’re normal!” thinking it would make them feel special? Unfortunately, this can have the opposite effect.
Why It’s a Problem
When you complain about the lack of good men, you’re unintentionally sending these messages:
- You don’t have many options
- You might settle for anyone who seems decent
- You’re not in a state of abundance
What to Do Instead
Adopt a mindset of abundance. Believe that plenty of great guys are out there, even if you still need to meet them. This attractive attitude will make your date feel chosen, not like a last resort.
2. Over-Communicating
It’s exciting when you click with someone, but bombarding them with messages can be overwhelming.
Signs of Over-Communication
- Sending multiple texts before getting a response
- Sharing long, detailed stories about your day via text
- Constantly initiating contact
How to Communicate Effectively
- Match your date’s level of communication
- Save detailed stories for phone calls or in-person meetings
- Give them space to miss you and initiate contact, too
3. Bending Over Backwards to Meet
Flexibility is good, but constantly rearranging your life for a date can seem desperate.
Examples to Avoid
- Driving hours to meet them without them offering to meet halfway
- Canceling plans with friends for a last-minute date
Better Approaches
- Suggest meeting halfway for distant dates
- Maintain your existing plans and offer alternative times to meet
4. Excessive Gift-Giving
Photo Credit – Pexels
While generosity is admirable, too much too soon can be overwhelming.
Why It Can Backfire
- It might seem like you’re trying to buy affection
- Your date may feel pressure to reciprocate
- It might make things feel uneven between you and your date.
How to Show You Care
- Start with small, thoughtful gestures
- Match your date’s level of gift-giving
- Focus on creating experiences together rather than material gifts
5. Always Being Available
Constantly free whenever your date wants to meet? This might send the wrong message.
The Problem with Always Being Free
- It can make you seem like you don’t have a life outside of dating
- Your date might take your time for granted
Striking a Balance
- Maintain your schedule and interests
- Be honest when you’re busy and suggest alternative times
6. Oversharing Personal Information
Opening up is important, but sharing too much too soon can be off-putting.
What to Avoid
- Discussing deeply personal issues on early dates
- Sharing intimate details about past relationships
Building Trust Gradually
- Share information at a pace that feels natural
- Focus on positive topics in the early stages of dating
7. Trying Too Hard to Impress
While it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward, trying too hard can backfire.
Signs You Might Be Trying Too Hard
- Pretending to like things your date enjoys when you don’t
- Changing your appearance or personality to fit what you think they want
How to Be Authentically Impressive
- Be confident in who you are
- Share your genuine interests and passions
- Let your natural qualities shine through
Conclusion
Keep in mind, doing these things doesn’t mean you’re actually desperate. People just sometimes see it that way. By knowing about these common slip-ups, you can date with more confidence and be true to yourself.
What steps will you take to avoid these common dating mistakes? How do you think this knowledge will change your approach to dating?
Photo Credit – Pexels