Do you ever feel like you’re doing all the giving in your relationships? This article explores the signs of being an “overgiver” and how to create a healthy balance.
- You may be giving with hidden expectations or “strings attached.”
- You aren’t directly asking for what you need or want
- Your giving stems from an underlying fear of not being enough
By recognizing these patterns, you can foster mutual giving and receiving. This helps nurture a deeper connection with your partner.
Wouldn’t it be better to feel your needs are indeed being met? Read on to learn how.
Giving With Strings Attached
Many of us were taught that to get something, we first have to give. So we do acts of service like washing dishes, hoping our partner will return the favor next time. Or we provide gifts while secretly keeping score, expecting reciprocation.
But giving to get something in return creates an unhealthy dynamic. Your partner likely doesn’t realize the hidden expectations you’ve attached to your giving.
Not Asking For What You Want
People aren’t mind readers. If you want something from your partner but don’t directly ask for it, the chances of getting it are meager.
For example, you may want your partner’s help packing lunches in the morning. Instead of dropping hints by sighing loudly, you must clearly explain what you need from them.
Giving From a Place of Fear
Sometimes, we overgive because of an underlying fear that our partner will leave if we don’t. We worry deep down that we’re not “enough,” so we constantly overcompensate through acts of service.
While the actions are favorable, giving from a mindset of fear and scarcity keeps the relationship from truly blossoming. Working on feeling secure in yourself and your worthiness for love is essential.
Fostering a Healthy Balance
To create a cycle of mutual giving and receiving:
- Increase self-awareness of your needs and wants. Set aside time each day to check in with yourself.
- Reframe your mindset around receiving. Asking for help or support isn’t a weakness but allows connection.
- Request what you need clearly and directly. Don’t expect your partner to read hints or subtle signs.
When both partners freely give and receive from the heart, a relationship can flourish through the energy of mutual care and appreciation.
What steps can you take today to invite more balance into your most important connections?